Friday, January 21, 2011

homesick

Sometimes I really miss NZ, especially when it's so cold and dark.

Here's a poem:

New Zealand/Aotearoa

Are you my home?
Your wide clear day
showing up for bright green the grass
and for corrugated the fence
beside the field where children play.
Are you my home?
small square veined town
tarmac oozing in summer sun
blaring with pied piper ice cream vans.
Your valleys are cloaked in mysteries
of somber green
ornamented with hidden birds
darkly singing to the fathomless sky.
Your fields are flecked with wooley backed
land-maggots
clinging with all four feet
ceaselessly gnawing
at your outsides.
Your hills
lie stark and trembling
lashed to the bone
and waiting to be washed away
in the merciless rain.
No gentle beauty
No faded grandeur,
a narrow lock of land
hemmed by great sweeps of grey
fumbled relentlessly by the hands of the southern seas
scattered with the black bones of bonfires
you do not welcome me softly
with your too-cold wind
and your too-fierce sun
the thorn of your wildness snapped in my hand long ago
and I have left it there
a dark mark under my skin
so I wait
to feel your soil under my bare feet
for your wind to toss my hair into my face
for my heart to rise gleaming
like the tui
to the kowahi tree
and to speak
I am home again.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Stencils

I love street art, I always keep an eye out for it in new towns we visit.

We recently went down to London, and stayed with our brilliant friends Tim and Lucy, who organise a weekly session called 'make' on Sunday afternoons, open to anyone who wants to come along and make things together. The weekend we were there, their friend Ben who runs Graffiti workshops came along and taught us how to make stencils. We either drew our own pictures or got inspiration from magazines, tracing pictures out of them. Quite hard to do, as you have to imagine everything in reverse, as the bits you cut out are the bits that show up darker. Lots of fun. I will have to put my new skills to use, it's amazing what you can do with building up layers of texture. I also put to use the inside cut-outs of some of my stencils, like the teapot.

I think the tricks seemed to be - a sharp scalpel, cutting mats, stencil paper (strong and slightly waxy) and spraymount (spray on glue), which allows you to stick the stencil down flat before you spray it. You then wait a couple of seconds before peeling away the stencil, and you have your image.

Here are some pictures of the stencils I made. Unfortunately I never took any pictures of the boards we made up together- great collaborative art!



T-cycling

I am so sorry about the groan worthy titles of some of my posts. I can't resist sometimes.

Anyway - when one of our housemates moved out, he gave me a whole lot of old t-shirts he was going to throw out, which has been a great excuse for some renovations of old garments. One tunic type dress I had was a little tight, too high necked and frankly quite boring. With a strip of t-shirt sewn together (to make it long enough) and carefully ruched, I now have a cute little brown tunic.





The next thing I made involved two T-shirts,one 'base' garment, and one for the ruffles. I modified the shape of the grey base T-shirt to make it a bit more fitted,then cut strips from the contrasting colour T-shirt, sewed lace onto the end of the strips using a zig-zag stitch, did a line of large stitches down the other side that could be pulled in to make them ruffled. I then attached the ruffles, overlapping them slightly, and finished off the sleeves with lace and buttons. Finally, I put a strip of the contrasting colour T-shirt around the bottom to make the top a bit longer and to balance the colours a bit. Result- slightly Japanese street style shirt, that I really like!


Booty-Lushious

Some wet-felting results:

I have been making a few little baby booties for the tiny toes that are proliferating among the folks we know. They are a nice sized project for the small space I have to felt in, (The benchtop in our Cabin bathroom), and such a satisfying result.

Crochet lampshade

Now that the lamp has been safely delivered to its recipients, I can blog about it!

Inspired by a similar lampshade in a Kensington yarn shop, and my newly acquired powers of crocheting, I set about knitting and crocheting loads of little patches, and then stitched them all together around a wire lightshade. Result? A pretty, whimsical multi-coloured shade perfect for a little girls room!




Tuesday, January 4, 2011

re-resolution

I love new years! I'm a big fan of resolutions, and of recyling- so I'm re-cycling my resolutions! Unfortunately, for various reasons i haven't kept many of my New years resolutions... still fun making them again though.

The one resolution I have more than kept is blogging once a month. It's been a fun little journey having a blog, it does feel a bit self indulgent and I do hope my posts aren't too boring/random/odd. But I am enjoying it so much I think I'll continue.

Last year I wanted to join the Oxford Gospel Choir, but it is on a Tuesday, and it is half way across town, which is a bit epic when you add a 40 min return bike ride onto the practice. So I'm changing that to a more local Thursday night belly dancing class (whoop whoop). great for your lower back/core muscle strength and co-ordination which I could do with more of. Sorry gospel choir, maybe I'll join a choir another year... wish I could do it all.

My hour a week of poi practice - hasn't happened. But I want it to, so I will try that one again.

Running- hasn't happened, and can't see a happy way of making it happen, but instead of running, maybe half an hour of yoga and/or pilates/or meditation five times a week. There. four resolutions. Maybe running. will see.

My old enemy, RSI/Upper limb syndrome/ Occupational overuse syndrome has made a re-appearance. I feel pretty gutted as I'm in pain lots of the time, my muscles are extremely tight and sore, I have to take a steady stream of painkillers, and it makes me tired, grumpy and a bit miserable, and it makes crafting hurt, worst of all, my work is stealing my leisure. The occupational health lady recommends I give up my extra hours of work, sad when we're trying to save for Africa. We're just not made for computers, me less than others! So part of my poi/yoga/ dance resolutions are finding a way to manage this problem, as it won't go away in a hurry.

Any tips for managing this problem are recommended....

In a less resolutions to 'do' kinda way, this year I'd like to live more greatfully, always aware of the bounty that comes my way each day, without me even noticing much of it. I'd like to live more graciously, being more forgiving, less quick to judge and less in need of other people accepting me before I accept them. I'd like to live generously, not seeking my own benefit in every situation, but always challenging myself to give, of emotion, of energy, of belongings... So I pray that not only the big decisions I make this year would be wise ones, but each of the many tiny choices I make each day would turn me further toward greatfulness, generosity and grace.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.


On the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.
(2 cor 4:16)


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmas tables and collages

Christmas is over! Its that strange kind of post-excitement post busy-ness deflated feeling for me. We had a lovely Christmas with some family that live in these parts of the world, in an amazing house in the countryside.

We made the place settings and Christmas crackers for the table. Each cracker had inside a green and blacks organic chocolate, a small packet of seeds that could be grown in pots, like sunflowers, chives etc, a joke (handpicked by Malcolm and not vetted by me first, mistake, - the only Aussie in the group got the Aussie joke, but was fine about it and no one else seemed mortally offended) and some origami paper and the instructions for an origami creation. I used my little tea light candle holders for the centre of the table. All the place names were just hand drawn on Microsoft Paintshop, which made me feel like a kid again. So much fun. It did get a little silly, I mean, what does a moose have to do with Christmas?





If I made the crackers again, I think I'd use a more fragile paper, as these were so hardy we couldn't pull them apart very easily! Oh well. I am gradually learning that research before you embark on a project is time well spent, though my bias is toward learning in action, I'm impatient and want to get on with it. Which means I get lots done, but not always with the best results!


While I'm posting, here's some of the fruits of my most favourite projects of late. I've been making mini-collages on offcuts of hardwood. Drill a hole and
put a little hanging loop in the back (like the ones you hang mirrors with) and voila, mini ready to hang art for your wall. So much fun. I source the pictures from everywhere, mostly charity shop second hand children's books. Then I spraypaint a textured background onto the wood block, lay down a layer of very thin tissue paper with watery PVA glue on top of that, or pieces of old dressmaking patterns, and that's my base onto which I then build the rest of the collage. Once finished, i apply several coats of PVA varnish and trim off the edges. Each collage is only about ten cm by 16 cm big. And original and loveable. Delish.





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Friday, December 10, 2010

Peace, Ignatius, it's Nouwen view of the long dark night of the soul

Excuse the obscure title. hopefully, all will become clearer as this post unfolds.

So there have been a few themes that have been unfolding of late...

I have always been a bit of a die hard pacifist, but have never been able to really understand why it resonates so strongly with me or even had a good counter argument to the hypothetical situation that pacifism always seem to raise: that what about if your family was being attacked would you kill the attacker to save them.(?)..

I took some time to listen this excellent series, called 'inglorious pastors' (a groanworthy pun from those that get the reference) on pacifism, by a Canadian church called the Meeting house, who come from Mennonite roots. Well worth a listen in my opinion, especially if you're interested in pacifism. One of the key themes emerging from these talks is that of a 'third way': neither aggression or passivity, but of active non violent resistance.

Malcolm and I recently attended a talk on Ignatian spirituality, which engages your mind and imagination and emotions in scripture reading. From that talk we heard of a website that does little 12 min 'pray as you go' podcasts, Ignatian style. It's a non-verbal form of prayer, one which I had not really considered before. Dangerous thing to listen to before going to sleep, as you almost never hear the end...

As well as this, over the last year I have been reading Henri Nouwen, who talks a lot about silence, solitude and prayer, and is the author of a number of books that have been richly drawn upon in pastoral care. Martin Laird has written a gorgeous book that I'd like to read again called 'into the silent land'. I first heard of 'new monasticism' a few years ago, but this sense of drawing on the spiritual wisdom and practices of the christian mystics (like st john of the cross, who wrote 'the long dark night of the soul')and ancient monastic communities is very appealing in lots of ways.

I think this strand of Christian thought offers a slightly more holistic take on spirituality than perhaps the protestant/evangelical tradition that I have known so far. What I mean is it acknowledges the presence of God in the created world, and in humans (regardless of their faith). It seems as though it is based a little less on cerebral 'head' belief and more on the lived experience of faith and engaging with the presence of God. (These are generalisations, of course). It is interesting to see some of these practices and traditions emerging again in the contemporary christian church.

One of the key practices of mystics and monastics is contemplation- or meditation, something which in practice is very very similar to mindfulness meditation. When we arrived in Oxford I became involved in a massive university trial studying recurrent depression, as this is something I have struggled with for many years of my life. the trial is looking at thousand of people suffering recurrent depression and is looking at the effectiveness of various therapy based treatments for it. I was 'randomly selected' into a group who were taught mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. This therapy uses exercises of mediation and breathing to help people suffering depression, anxiety or pain learn to cope with their own emotional,mental and physical experiences. Much of it is about engaging with the present moment, not being mentally 'elsewhere' with worry abut the future or ruminating about the past. It is about recognising the way in which thoughts impact on your emotions and body, and becoming aware of your own thinking patterns.

I found it really challenging, my mind is so busy and I struggled to engage with the exercises. However, over the course of the group I learnt a lot about my own mind and well-being, recognising some of my own self-critical and negative habits, and tendency to drive myself to the point of unhappiness and exhaustion.

I was delighted to discover that there is an ancient stream of Christian tradition, of, essentially mindfulness practice, very similar in practice to the Buddhist based mindfulness but coming from an entirely different world-view, one that recognises the work of the Holy Spirit and the love and guidance of God in human lives. This tradition often uses a 'prayer word' or phrase that is repeated at the start of the contemplation/meditation, which certainly was a helpful practice for my busy mind to use in order to settle and enter into stillness.

I say 'randomly selected' for the mindfulness group in the trial but it has felt like the direction God has been leading me for some time. As my wise mum always said, we're human 'beings' not human 'doings'! I am finally learning how to 'be'.

I think that the milieu we live in is inherently destructive to human well-being. We live in a culture of upward comparisons, social climbing, consumerism and pressure to 'do' 'succeed' 'achieve' and 'produce' - while at the same time, old community links and networks are weaker, people are more transient, families more fractured, and the pace at which we live and absorb information seem to be accelerating rapidly. No wonder depression is rampant, as well as other mental health problems. Huge amounts of suffering are caused by mental illness all over the world.

My belief is that spirituality is a key way to create good mental health and healthier societies. Not all religion is 'good religion' for mental health - I'm thinking here of overly controlling religious groups, religious fundamentalism, and guilt or fear based religions. However, belief systems and practices that give you meaning, purpose, and a sense of inner understanding cannot help but benefit mental health.

For my own experience, recognising the unconditional love of God, a love not based on performance in any sense, but on the fact that I am a created child of God is essential. Having a different value system - one that upholds justice, relationships, peace and compassion is a good antidote to the destructive greed and materialism and subtle discontent that we can easily succumb to. I have so much to be thankful for, right here, and learning to 'be' in each present moment opens up my eyes to the goodness in life again and again. And from a basis of good mental health we are much more able to engage in the world in building community, justice and peace.

If you've made to the end of this post, well done! It's a little more heavy than my usual postings, but all stuff that has been really revolutionary for me. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and find some of the links and names helpful.


Here's some pics from a frosty morning in the botanic gardens...



Christmas lights

I made some Christmas versions of the tea-light holders I blogged about last month. Well - actually they are just red and white and some of them have stars, so semi-Christmas versions. Check them out:





I like them! I made the addition of spray painting lace and other bits and bobs onto the glasses first, before putting tissue paper and other decorations on. Now I want to spray paint everything!!!!!! it's dangerous stuff!

Battic!

So - excitement of the week -

I went to the attic at work to take down the Christmas decorations, pulled out the box,

and squealed! I thought the furry thing clinging to the box was an enormous spider, but, to my great relief it was a sleeping bat! I've always had a soft spot for bats, despite being bitten by a fruit bat at Steve Irwin's wildlife park in Australia when I was a kid (I did stroke his furry tummy, so I probably deserved it). Bats are super-cool critters. After a bit of googling ( ie internet searching And staring at bat), I decided it would be wise to ring the Bat helpline.

I found out:

There are 17 species of bat in the UK, they are endangered
It's illegal to disturb a roosting/hibernating bat
Property developers hate them because it means they can't knock down old buildings if Bats live there! mwahahaha.
Our bat was probably a common pipistrelle, according to the bat folk, whom I sent this photo to:




Isn't it cute? covered in cobwebs, which I guess happens if you hibernate, and only about 5 cm long. It certainly made my day!

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